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So nobody is suggesting we revert to real, genuine sexual harassment. In my completely random opinion—which is pure conjecture, mind you—I can think of at least three factors that may be conspiring here.1) Fear Of Seeming Predatory The subtle (or at times blatant) message presented to men in the 21st century is that any display of sexual interest in a woman is considered “sexual harassment”.Christian Rudder, co-founder of OKCupid, wrote an article on Jezebel that delves into the dating site’s data “built from tens of millions of preferences expressed in the act of finding a date.” The data reveals some pretty depressing results about what men are looking for in women. Before 30, they’re looking for slightly older men; once they hit 30, they are interested in someone slightly younger.Throughout her forties, a woman is most attracted to men at right around the age of 40. All men, from those in their twenties to those who are fifty, want to date a woman in her early twenties. For almost every year in his thirties, a man is most attracted to a 20-year-old woman.Please read this other post before commenting to gain clarity on my gender-neutral position on human behavior.] —– A while back I was on a coaching call with a woman who happens to be smart, successful and beautiful. Granted, knowing how “approach anxiety” has a death grip on most mortal men, it’s not even like I was expecting to witness guys stopping bikini-clad hotties and getting their numbers.
The question wasn’t a mere throwaway…some miscellaneous rant from a woman who couldn’t understand why she couldn’t even catch a man looking, let alone get him to approach her. And since I was on a road trip and passing through South Carolina, Georgia and Florida, I decided to do somewhat of a field study. And yes, most of us as guys know that it’s better when food shopping to perpetrate like you forgot something in the same aisle that hottie is on, just so you can justify backtracking to verify how sexy she really is.
At least in principle we understand all that stuff. Time after time dudes were strolling by fantastically hot women with virtually nothing on, apparently without even having noticed.
But by God, these guys were seriously NOT LOOKING at women. To be sure, in case you’re wondering the women weren’t stealing a glimpse of a guy here and there either.
Out of the blue, she posed one of the most poignant questions I’d been asked in quite some time: My knee-jerk response, had I not stopped to ponder the issue, may have been something to the effect of, “Well, of course. All places where there’s no shortage of attractive women wandering the sidewalks in sundresses or catching rays on the beach in bikinis. But these guys were apparently oblivious that there were sexy women within the scope of their radar.
Men have been making it a point to stop and admire women they happen to see when they’re out and about since the dawn of recorded time. At each stop I made it a point to stop and observe what happened whenever men and women were in close proximity to each other. They weren’t even bothering to look at them…at all.
These people weren’t just not noticing each other, they weren’t even trying.